Thursday, December 13, 2012

Winter's Embrace

Winter's Embrace

The ice cold flake falls to my porcelain white nose, closing my dark eyes hidden underneath long lashes, I cringe as the wind stings my cheeks, instantaneously I froze as my ears prick to that ice and powder crunching beneath my toes that I can no longer feel, chilling my back and I shiver.
Continuing my short stride, I walk through the whiteout, to my left, chain linked with ice and snow, far out in this darkness, deep; what were stunning green trees are now frosted thick heavy white branches.

I stop suddenly gazing around, as a branch gives way from it's lingering weight tumbling with a light powdery mist as the snow hits the large bank formed on the ground.

More flakes plunge to the endless white from the low grey ceiling above. Gracely pulling my hood over my head to protect my hair from the flowing flakes I break for the forest, enjoying my time the enticing aloneness for it's what I so deeply love.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Sail's Mast

Sail's Mast

Cool dim lighting surrounds the lonely seats,
I inhale cautiously, filling my lungs with musty air.
I grasp the bar putting up my feet
as I begin to relax in the chair.

In front a familiar coaster appears.
Instinctively my hand hits the counter
and I fight the urge and hide my tears.
I am not myself, seeing the glass, I found her.

Three ice cubes and a green lime wedge,
clink and sparkle like diamonds.
Clear glossy liquid pours down my throat,
slamming the empty glass down to the ledge.
That's where I begin to float,
thoughts that consumed me
surrender and leave me free.

Leaving behind a bill, I walk for the door.
Button after Button, I face the cold,
taking long strides, lacking confidence untold.
Continuing with grace, long and growing sore.

Trying to block the remnants of my past,
but clearly each day the depression consumes me.
One day I'll live like a Sail's strength surely,
gliding the waters of my destructions,
sailing, smoothly, rising strongly,
awaiting the day to see my mast.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Disowned

Disowned

I hate for how I feel, my feelings run deep.
I dread with how I act, my actions don't sleep.
All this pain weighs in my soul,
I try to escape each day.
When I think I've found a hole,
I get stuck every day.

For these decisions are my own to make,
my very possible future mistakes.
For every direction that I choose,
I needst not worry about your abuse.

So take me as I am,
for what I am
and what I do,
don't make me choose,
between me and you,
because it hurts me losing you.

 Family, through death we lose.
Family, through birth we gain.
So how do I describe my pain,
with each decision that you choose,
leaves us both with a loss, suffering and pain.

Goodbye To You

Goodbye To You

Alone as I am, I am not.
For when I close my eyes,
it's you that has me caught
through your hatred and lies.

As much as I try to forget your face,
your wit, your love, your deep grey eyes,
your smell, your style, your easy grace.
Your carefree smile, your shape, your pouty lip,
 your not perfect, but perfect teeth.
Every time I concentrate to forget you,
these feelings are burned into
my touch, my eyes, my memories,
my lips, my heart, my everything.

Please let me forget you now,
since we have gone our separate ways.
You've left me alone in a daze
with this courage I begin to see how.

I'll never love again like this,
I was blinded by you
and who's to say that love was even true,
did it ever start with a kiss.
Or would we argue on that too.
So I'm saying goodbye my love,
goodbye to you.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Crimson Cut

Crimson Cut
 
My heart continues to bleed,
at least I know I'm alive.
Love has yet for me to breathe
and hinders thoughts to survive.
 
I am but a blank page of art,
for which many colours appear.
They take no direction or start,
for I begin to disappear.
 
Crimson, softly, smoothly, fitting,
crimson, expanding, quickly, filling,
awaking the areas on the surface,
static travels underneath.
I am left blind but exactly aware,
crimson, roughly, sticky, seeping,
crimson, rising, dripping, Bleeding.
 
Thine thoughts pricked
and fly with ease,
eyes closed shut
and my visions seized.
 
A burning sensation clasps my nose,
instantaneously I froze.
The pain pierces my skin,
effortlessly travels within.
 
It is here where the numbness resides,
a substance drenches the veins,
like it purposely has to abide,
this pain forever remains.
 
Crimson, torchers, alcohol, pain.
Crimson seeps through
bloodshed and vain.
Immaculously, maliciously, cleanses
the wound, spreading like fever.
As the crimson tries to spread like salt,
this brutal suffering travels deeper.


Can't Do It Anymore

Can't Do it Anymore
 
Yelling turns black and black some more,
some more turns red I know for sure.
And yet I must turn my back once again,
the cold wind blows as my walks to begin.
 
I must leave for I know I've overstayed,
so as I leave don't cry for my sorrow
and please don't pretend, I know you betrayed
for the future of my sad tomorrow.
 
I try to please you every day,
all I do you look away,
and yet I like to stay with you,
whatever I say, you find untrue.
 
With all I do my heart is sore,
you're always changing your side,
for that I can't do it anymore,
but sit back and regret the ride.
 
With your mixed emotions running rapid in time,
I think I'll try and suppress my visions,
I hurt knowing the choice is all mine
and for that I made those decisions.

You are my angel

You Are My Angel
 
I watch you from heaven,
I will wait for you,
so far I've waited seven,
that's how I know it's true.
 
When you gaze up in the sky,
looking for answers in the clouds,
I gaze upon your eyes,
I couldn't miss them in a crowd.
 
I know this came too fast,
God took me from your heart,
I wish that moment weren't my last,
each and every part.
 
Even though I'm in heaven's gates,
the one that wears her wings,
I know love when it's my fate,
you are my angel, so he sings.

Be True

Be True
 
Cry for me, and pray for me
and smile for me tonight.
You'll long for me and know for me
and try for me with fight.
 
Feel for me, and hold for me
and dream for me, the good.
You'll steal for me and lie for me
and fly for me, you would.
 
Pinch me I think I'm falling,
catch me I think I'm stalling,
don't do these things for me,
don't do these things for you.
 
Look to our future you see.
We'll cry, pray and smile,
to be true.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Not Sunshine and Rainbows

Not Sunshine and Rainbows
 
Misty droplets roll down thine's cheek
and kiss whatever they land upon.
Finding the sunshine that I seek
is becoming a countless deed in the sun.
 
Your friendship used to consume me
but lately it just grows weak,
from a consorted path I needst break free,
before we drift too great lengths and break.
 
You speakst of sunshine and rainbows,
which I agree we are not,
but every friendship has their sorrows,
and in this case there's a lot.
 
Please don't shy away from me
when I need you now the most,
don't hesitate your feelings,
deep down I feel no longer close.
 
Even though we're not blood related
I felt so close to you
and now with all the feeling of hatred
I want to reach out to you,
but burning in my heart,
will you reach back,
or will this friendship fall apart
and turn an awful black?
 
I sincerely apologize for all the hurt I have caused you,
I hope we can move past this and together laugh later too.
 
I'm reaching out to you,
through the rainbows,
through the butterflies,
through the clouds,
and the sunshine,
I'm reaching out to you,
in hopes you see through
to my heart
and accept me as I am,
a little broken,
but with time,
with a friend like you,
we can begin to mend.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Leaving You Bereft

 Leaving You Bereft 
 
Together close your eyes
and see the darkness,
for it's but a disguise
to hide your loathness.
 
Of him, him that holds lust,
the bearer of non-trust
with the face of an angel,
and you, you damned damsel.
 
Blind you fell, for him
too quickly and prostrate,
before life went dim,
him you had to truncate.
 
Just like that you grasped
at what you had left,
it may have been very rash
leaving you alone and bereft.
 
What's done is done though,
Happiness may come and go.
For what you choose to believe,
taken, leaving you dark and bereaved.
 
 

Only His

Only His
 
 
You make him laugh,
which makes him smile,
which keeps you smiling,
because he's smiling.
 
He makes you see,
which makes you tremble,
which keeps him trembling,
because you're trembling.
 
Drown your lust and sorrow,
open your arms for tomorrow,
and reach for euphoria,
your love no longer his to borrow.
 
You conjure his heart,
which causes his love,
which keeps to expand,
because his love only grows for you.
 
With each embrace,
with each touch,
comes a love to trace,
without fuss.
 
He seized your heart,
which makes you seize his,
which keeps him seized,
because you're his.
 
And only his.

Ativan

Ativan
 
The chalk taste swells under my tongue,
glides around to the back of my mouth,
dissolving instantaneously.
 
Lay still my heart slows
and my hearing alert,
to the ever so soundless night.
 
A numbness swallows my body
and my eyelids uncontrollably droop.
 
A tingling sensation in my head,
I melt even further to the surrounding sheets,
enveloping my body.
 
My heart slows to a steady beat,
with an intoxicating rhythm,
of the slow rise and fall of my chest.
 
Fighting my thoughts further
and further away from this moment,
I am almost distant enough to fly off and forget.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Snow White

Snow White

Life's so simple when you're little,
but everyone has to grow up.
It may not be the big white castle,
and it may even be corrupt.
You may or may not get what you want,
I have yet to meet Prince Charming,
I really don't think he exists.
Isn't he supposed to be your first kiss?
Life isn't an enchanted fairy tale,
is there a genie who gives three wishes?
You can't pick and choose the details,
every one's just imprinted with malfunctioning glitches.

It defines us as who we are,
we all have imperfections,
we cry when we're sad,
we get happy and mad,
there's no correct direction,
not everyone feels affection.
As it turns out true,
we can swallow pride,
and get on with our lives.

A perfectly fit enclosing glass box,
finely encases my porcelain white skin.
I'm numb in rest with my thoughts,
anxiously waiting to be awaken.

I long to see those deep dark eyes,
longing to come find and claim my heart.
Through all the painful long goodbyes,
my future awaits with you to finally start.

Those strong hands lift the glass and separation,
time remains still in this moment,
your defined hard lips meet mine in determination
of defeating your most challenging opponent.

As your lips linger on mine,
a rush floods my brain,
every thing's more than just fine,
It's your euphoria to remain.

Seeing through my closed eye lids,
never actually awakening to you.
Was this all in my sleeping head,
Prince Charming, I'm still waiting for you.


Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Pieces

Pieces

When will I break up into pieces,
I am shattered don't you see
and when will I see you come for me,
nothing else ever matters,
I am lethal in time, that I only want you
to see that part of me I can't hide.
So I jump into your arms,
my fragile hands get the best of me,
these thoughts swarm around in my mind,
provoking me and I rejoice
with your deep eyes
fixated upon my actions,
your mouth opened from assumed shock.
So I touched your pale cheek,
slightly and pulled back,
to leave my nights evermore sleepless.
Don't contradict me,
stop predicting,
just let your heart speak
and slap yourself
cause you're in too deep.
You enable my breaths,
they are scarce to me now,
for when I inhale,
it burns my nose
and puts pains through my chest,
such a rose's thorns.
But this pain I long for,
every morning I wake,
till the time I lay my head down again,
It's what your pieces do to me.

Forever Mending the Purple

Forever Mending the Purple

Through his eyes;
which only see one thing.
Through everyone's eyes,
he sees himself as King.

Holding on to a piece of a crimson heart;
one that could have been his from the start,
but in those eyes he never really saw her.
The Love's turning purple and then he'll see.

Aching with a broken purple heart,
which time, mending is slowly healing,
growing together stronger will start
to escape each and every feeling.

For he continues to pull out that purple piece,
with each thought,
will he actually ever see,
the mending her heart
has worked so hard
to achieve
is ripped apart.

So a new wound is exposed
in this ever so violet heart,
which lasts a second, or two
and his seeing of her,
turns blind.
The purple begins
it's work again,
to mend this
ever,
aching,
purple heart.

Our Time

Our Time

Our time for love that seemed to be
Effortlessly in this melancholy,
It's just our shining hearts.
Our time to adjust
In the eyes of our new,
Our new found joy that brings us
To tears.
Our time for love brings us hope,
To see through our,
Greatest fears.
Our time to love is here to stay,
And evermore,
Our time to loathe has gone away.

Co-Existing

Co-Existing

Alone as I stand,
The ocean's breeze flows through my hair
And I wiggle my toes in the sand,
And yet I must brace myself for what's
To come of me next,
It's unpredictable,
Uncontrollable,
So unexpected.

How can one's heart be so little
And yet feel so much,
So much, when I'm near your touch
I can't control it,
My heart just beats so,
Extraordinarily fast,
I wish you could feel it,
Or maybe you do know what it feels like,
Being speechless and strained for air
And every breath you take,
Just draws you in,
There's no resisting,
It's just you and me,
Co-existing.

Try Harder

Try Harder

I try to avoid my sadness,
But somehow someway it finds me.
I try not to cry and hurt less,
But somehow someway it gets me.
I try to put on a fake smile,
But somehow someway it frowns.
I try to keep my head held high,
But somehow someway it's down.
I try to be happy each day,
But somehow someway it changes.
I try to change my attitude,
But somehow someway I lose.
I try to keep me simple,
But somehow someway I'm not.

Unchangable

Unchangable

My tears keep falling from my eyes,
And yet my cheeks remain dry.
My knees began to shake beneath me,
And yet I remained balanced.

My arms felt cold with shivers,
And yet no goosebumps.
My hands felt very unsteady,
And yet looked pale and calm.

My breaths sounded rushed and short,
And yet remained calm and deep.
My hair seemed frazzled and messy,
And yet looked tidy and well kept.

My mouth was about to quiver and pout,
And yet a beautiful Mona Lisa.
My nails were chewed from nerves,
And yet remained long and painted.

My vision began to blur,
And yet I could still see.
My eyes seemed tired and heavy,
And yet were alert and bright.

My ears were ringing ever so loud,
And yet I was in complete and utter silence.

Black Angel's Spell

Black Angel

Don't get too close,
You'll learn to fear me,
You can't want me,
I try and shy away,
But as our eyes meet,
The frenzy begins.
You've found me,
My soul,
I've forgotten how to breathe,
It happened too quick,
Our cool lips met so cautiously
And I've realized I'm your angel,
But you can't have me.
I am no one's,
Unlovable.
So now I've lost you
And I feel so black,
So black,
I want you back,
To do it again.
Do it again I shall,
And again I should,
But it's love I dwell.
Black Angel put this spell on me,
I prick your heart
And loathe the rest,
Melting in the dead of night,
Stop.
You'll always lose this fight.

To Seize or Miss?

To Seize or Miss?

The sun fades but remains bright,
The stars glow into the night.
The trees sway gently but fast,
This moment could only last.
Thou speaks of thee this morning
And echoes amongst the trees,
What's thou done thy mourning,
My heart is thine to seize.
The poplars short to the sky,
Dance the wind and speed of sound,
Thy have nothing but to sigh
Of the falseness and the ground.

Her Path

Her Path

As you walk away,
The trees start to sway,
The cool wind gently blows,
I can hardly find your toes.
The path for you will clearly end,
Your footsteps are becoming a blur,
And I no longer can pretend,
I am tired and unknown of the cure.
There's a new path I must take for me,
One that I can only see.
One that leads us differently,
So you leave me.

Dear John

Dear John

Every night I can't sleep because I'm too worried about you, I hate being alone,
And I'm scared of the facts that you may never come home.
Every morning I look to where you slept and I cry because you're not there,
And every time the news is on more soldiers are falling, and it's not fair.
Bullets won't make you fall, you see
And so I pray to the gods,
That you'll make through it all,
And come home to me.
Dear John won't you come back to me,
Dear John we're meant to be,
Dear John I want to hold your hand,
Dear John I think you're grand,
You lift me up, guide me through,
Make me want to run to you.
So Dear John keep your head held high,
And Dear John I'll try not to cry.
All this time I've been waiting for you to come home, it's been many years.
The pain in my chest is true I know you'll make it through as the future nears.
I can't breathe because this isn't simple, you're not bulletproof and I can't lose you for good,
I know you'd come back to me, if, if only you could.
So Dear John I'll pray for you, and dry my tears,
Force many smiles, and hide all my fears.
I heard a car drive up and two uniformed men got out,
My heart stopped suddenly and I had one doubt.
They placed your life in my hands engraved on tags,
My mind could only envision the day you packed your bags.
I never wanted this day to come,
I never wanted to really see,
The truth to this reality.
Hoping for the best without regret,
Praying that you'd change your mind,
But your mind was already set.

To Remember

To Remember

I lay here to remember the past,
visions are bombed through my head.
The lives of those who lost, will last,
For they are the dead.

To remember is what we must do,
To forget them would haunt our mind.
To remember they fought for me and you,
They were all so strong and kind.

And now they lay in a field,
The poppies will continue to grow.
Their secrets shall not be sealed,
But displayed proudly upon every row.

Death of Tomorrow

Death of Tomorrow

The death of tomorrow
Brings my soul great sorrow,
And so I ask myself,
Am I in this mode of stealth?
The death of yesterday
Brings my soul pain today,
And so I ask him,
Why is life this dim?
He stares deep into my soul,
And it's there I see what he stole.
A single tear escapes me,
And I am all but free.
And so the death in my past,
is but a reflection that will last,
And so I ask everyone around,
Would you forget me when I'm down?

No Sympathy

No Sympathy

Drying her tears she cries here
Falling to the ground for him,
Tasting her mascara,
Over again.

Kicking and screaming, she cries.
Once again her mother sighs,
Another victim of his lies,
It's over again.

And I see no sympathy, no sympathy
In his heart anymore, just a cold heart.

She eats as if she knows
But can only stare at her toes,
She cries as the cool wind blows,
Love, over again.

Catching him in the act,
Once again the other girl is back,
The issues are now facts,
State, it's over again.

And I see no sympathy, no sympathy
In his heart anymore, just a cold heart.

Drying her tears she cries here,
falling to the ground for him.
And yet she asks herself,
Why it's over again?

Crying as she packs she just leaves,
Running as she throws her keys,
Crying as he drops to his knees,
It's over again.

And I see no sympathy,
no sympathy,
In his heart anymore,
Just a cold and lonely heart.

You Are My Angel

You Are My Angel

I watch you from heaven way up in the sky,
I will wait for you.
Live and breathe your life don't sigh,
Because I'll always love you.

When you gaze upon the sky,
Looking for answers in the clouds,
I gaze upon your eyes,
I couldn't miss them in a crowd.

I know this came too fast,
God took me from your heart,
I wish that moment weren't my last,
Each and every part.

Even though I'm in heaven's gate,
The one that wears her wings,
I know love when it's my fate,
You are my angel, so he sings.

"You are my angel, so brave and lonely.
You are my angel, you'll always know me.
You are my angel, looking down from the sky.
You are my angel, I know when you're happy you cry.
You are my angel, my every victory,
And I'll always know that every where I go,
you're always watching with me."

At First Sight

At First Sight

Your heart shatters before your eyes
when you receive such tragic news,
as a part of you quickly dies
your life seems no use.

You loved her very much,
and cry when you hear her name.
You're body aches for just her touch,
Life will never be quite the same.

You tell yourself it's a bad dream,
One which you'll never wake,
Or that's what you want it to seem,
Instead it's her life he takes.
As she departs her way tonight,
She leaves behind a part of her,
A part that shines so bright,
A part that belongs to him and her.
Crying as he held her in his arms,
Reminded him of his angel,
For now he found his place in life,
To care for his new daughter,
The last of his wife.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Bleeding Rose

Bleeding Rose

As I start to see the purple river,
once again my tears are crying.
The breeze chills my back as I shiver,
another victim of you lying.

So I press the cold heart steel,
to endless flowing purple.
Am I supposed to feel,
the draining of my purple?

So this is how the young rose bleeds,
bleeding from the sick petals.
More blood depression feeds,
as if to rid the heavy metals.

Pricking a rose's thorn,
will always be of guilt,
as if to say you were torn,
by something that's unbuilt.

Depression flows through the thorns.
This is how a rose bleeds
and yet no one will mourn,
because the rose will always bleed.

Quenching for thirst though the rose remains black,
with a drop of innosense it does not change,
but without a such given slack,
the rose will be a forever strange.

Pricking me frozen in time I melt within,
the purple from my veins pours from the stem.
The edges of the petals start to roll and dry.
As the rose bleeds, it will surely, shortly die.

Black Angel

Black Angel


Receiving a prick upon thy finger,
rushing waves salt water there,
gathering words become to linger,
as the purple rushes with care.

Thous face grows ghostly and white,
with such news thys gone to the light.
Numbing travels like a heartless disease,
Thys life the Black Angel will seize.

Dost thou's thorn hurt too much,
though the stem knows not of it's thorn.
A drop of wine with just one touch,
As the Black Angel departs, you are torn.

Oh Black Angel, kisses thy cheek
and take thy life,
it's so much easier than to sneak
thou's stained wine knife.

His Wife

His Wife

Thy's dress is short.
And thou will be pleased.
Thy's mind is clear,
and thou will be all but siezed.

To live thy own life,
thou speakst of it true,
thy's handled not with a knife,
if thou only knew.

Thou speaks of her as a wench
and thy mind is all in thought.
Thou doesn't know love's first quench,
because it's him I know thy's caught.

The thought of thou now ills the stomach
and thy's touch sends shivers
and thou always comes back.
Thy tries not to cry many rivers
for thou's one such given slack.


Hidden Rooms

Hidden Rooms


My mind has hidden rooms and secrets,
different situations open my doors
and release a path burried deepest,
like the spreading of ocean floors.

My mind is the game Russian Roullette,
holding the gun and pulling the trigger,
you'll never know just what you get,
but my thoughts will always linger.

I'm not sure if this is right,
or if this is my true fate.
All I know is that what's in sight,
depends upon my emotional state.

So here I am at a looking glass,
caught between two planes.
As I look I just don't ask,
and realize it's rather strange.

Marilyn

Marilyn

This pain in my chest
will not suppress
and I am left
Unrested.

With you it will grow,
not by myself,
for I can show,
no one else.

The eyes only bleed
for short time
and no one sees
the true crime.

If you love me at my best,
will you love me at my worst?
If you have to think first,
then you're not my true Love's thirst.