Tuesday, May 20, 2014

A Prisoner's Embrace

A Prisoner's Embrace
 
 
Remarkable, this time it travels translucent, trickling down to no where,
treacherous territory to the ground below.
But where do we go from here for I cannot know, I cannot be near and I cannot fight because I cannot bare that I want to be there.
I'd give every last breath, every ounce of my weight to see those eyes light up amongst many things knowing that I caused such a catastrophe; it's so cliché.
But yet I long for this cliché, it gives me purpose so proudly living my day by day engaging in high demanding delusions, drawing on your energy that I so desperately need to stay a float and to focus  to what will come of me next.
Tis not known in true disbelief for it is not shown that one cannot handle this exclusive elusive encounter, breaching imparable deposition.
I cannot bare it.
Nor cannot handle the way in which your being controls me, consumes my every action or next move to the way in which I live on this earth.
Devastating I cannot face your disposition.
But I need it, for I know no other way than the constant battle inside of me.
Decisions, oh so in regards, devastating like free falling, but not by my will.
As if pushed to face my demons head on, face first, free falling to the dramatic realization, disgraceful dictating, so masochistic of my mass destruction.
Empowering I live for the moment to quit this battle and go on not living for your pieces, your possessiveness that controls my heart, my mind, my actions without a second thought.
I needst to withstand your viciousness, knowing that I cannot be yours.
Please I beg of your heart, release me for I am not yours to keep, I am not your prisoner that I cant help but feel so captively contained to knowing and breathing only you.
And so cant you see I am but a lonely prisoner held against my will, you have this spell that I cannot break, you embrace me entirely enveloping my every next move.
I needst break free, though I fear for my future and what's to come of me next, if I can because you are my drug.
My sadistic drug.
I know nothing else even though I hate this feeling, I cant fathom never enjoying it again.
For that I dim this dark disastrous light and let this feeling of disparity consume and embrace me entirely, all of me, completely. 


Monday, May 19, 2014

No Choice

No Choice
 
There I sit, sitting in a state of hesitation and so I wait, waiting for that day, that moment, so precise and controlled that not from whom thy know but from whom thou can see thee fit formally for thine's forgiveness.
It's evolutionary falling so into place with the past making way with precision to the present determining one's future so quickly, unnerving.
It's ravishing like a river flowing from the peeking point so passionately passing over walls falling possessively, mastering and taking anything in it's wake, just absorbing that not of which can be seen, but that which only listens and moves with the rushing, so determined.
Call it crazy, but don't you see thy's path is set already.
No matter the actions, the people we meet you think thy has a choice, for a rushing waterfall does not choose, it just flows and the events occur natural disruptions to the flow changes thy's course and the water adapts to a new bend in the river.
It does not choose for it can't.
It just flows flawlessly, uncontrollably, so predictable.