Enveloping the black.

Enveloping the black. 

How does one have such masochistic thoughts,

But yet go on day by day happily?

Some days I feel too numb and get lost

in this light that consumes me entirely.

That light it's turning with my darkness,

Darkness that deserves death and despair,

But like a pharaoh fights for his carcass

Must go on needlessly numbing this nightmare.

My footsteps fall in the rain that secures me

for it is but a disguise for the pain,

That envelops all around but I am in safety. 

As tears frequently fall I must abstain,

For if I selfishly but desperately give in, it wins.

But when this wind doesn't blow 

Forgiveness for my future begins,

Or do I dwell too far below. 

Somebody please bring me down from this ledge,

Looming over me to let go.

I can't, crawling closer chasing that edge

that's extending and encasing below,

Foreshadowing futuristic funerals I can't see,

I won't see, willing myself to go back

and keep going, this game so generously 

grows dangerous, desperately to black.

For when I wake from this sadistic slumber

I am sick of this forgotten forsaken feeling,

Needless to say I am just another number.

My final hours to spend reminiscing, revealing 

before the black blatantly consumes,

Constricts cutting off my light.

For I cannot breathe no one assumes

being in the light but still savagely black, I fight.